My weekend is coming to an end

It's so upsetting to see the weekend go but, whatever. You go to do what you got to do to get by, and all I'm trying to do is finish this school year so, I'm crossing my fingers these 36 days fly by. But, other than that it was hella good weekend for the most part.

So with that being said, I'm going to bed. Good night readers (:

I hate when the season starts to change,

I start getting sick, and all I want to do is sleep, eat, and sleep some more. I get all lazy and not want to do a thing, then I start to feel moody.

It's only a Monday, and all I want is the weekend. Like I'm dying in this heat, my allergies are terrible, my cold is getting worse, and school is the last thing I want to put up with right now like seriously.

No one understands the love I have for The Weeknd.

He's fucking great.

Happy best friends day!

I have plenty of people who I would consider my best friends, but this shout out goes to one of my best friends or my very best friend Jess. This girl and I have been through hell and back, and we're stronger than ever. She's the only girl who I truly call my best friend. She's always looking out for me, and I couldn't ask for a better person in my life. She's there when I need her, and she's there even when I'm not asking for anyone to be there. We're not the perfect pair of friends, we go through plenty of ups and downs, but at the end of the day she's like my other half, and no one could ever replace that. I really do adore this chick, and she'll always be my favorite girl friend, no matter what. I mean no one understands my weirdness like she does, haha and no one will ever put up with her shit like I do. This one's for you best friend.

I speak my mind

A lot of the times, I don't hold back when it comes to making sure someone knows how I feel whether it's a bad thing or a good thing, I do it before it's too late or to the point where I'll regret not telling them when I had the chance. I'm not the type of person to sit back and let things be, I make it clear to others what I want, and what I expect. They way they make me feel and how I feel about them just because, I'll never know what their response might be if I don't take the chance to get things off my chest first.
But, tonight I'm not going to speak my mind, at least not to you. So here's something to sum my thoughts up for you especially:

 I'm passed that. I'm over that. I been there done that too many times, to do it again. What do I look, breaking my back, bending over backwards trying to tell you how I feel. You should already know. I mean hey, I guess though. I guess it's tough to act reckless, you know where you not giving a damn about what might or might not hurt my feelings, or you know just don't care that's fine too though, I understand. But don't you know, I dealt with that shit from the start, I know your ways better than you know it. I mean I can sum you up in a preface, get you all choked up and leave you breathless after I spit some thoughts, having you speechless. I mean still, what's the point of all that, when reality is, I could just say peace to you, and wait until you realize what you had, you don't have no more. You're in line to kiss my ass because realistically speaking, I'm done chasing your ass.

Every relationship starts out perfect,

You do everything with that person, you can text them all day long and not get tired of seeing their name pop up on your screen every minute, you can talk to them on the phone all night and not want to go to bed, because there's so much about them you don't want to miss. You get eager and excited when you know you're about to be with them, because being with them is the only thing you look forward to doing. All of a sudden you find yourself all caught up in them, and nothing and nobody else matters to you expect for that person. You tell all your family and friends about how amazing your guys relationship is. You find yourself thinking about that person and that person only all day. You always wonder about what they're doing, and who they're talking to. Everything about that person drives you insane. You find yourself loving that person for all that they are and you're just so attached to them you never want to let go. Every little fight you guys get into doesn't even matter, because you're so caught up into each other it won't even matter.

Then, when you're with each other long enough, it seems like you get tired of doing the same thing. Your conversations start to become dull, the texts come slower and shorter, and the calls become longer but nothing is being said. When you're with each other, you're barely into that person anymore. You're just doing you're own thing, not even worrying about that person is up to. When your friends and family ask about you guys, you start to smile and cut them off because you don't feel like lying and explaining to them how hard your relationship with that person is, so you smile and walk off but, in your head it's like 'I wish we were that'. You start to see that person less, and start thinking more about why you should see that person anymore anyway. Everything starts to get to you, all the small fights and arguments start to add up and they start to count. You start to cry more, and laugh less. Soon enough, everything goes down hill, and it's hard to think straight knowing you don't truly feel the same anymore. Then, you start to lie to yourself and say it will get better when in reality you know it's not. Then all you do is put up with it, and hope that tomorrow maybe things will be the same again when it will never be close to being the same again.

Isn't that funny how things can change so suddenly? And that person you once loved, you don't really love anymore? I hate change, especially when people change. You just got to find the one person who won't let you get away and want the same things you do.

I feel like there's so much more out there

Yet, I don't know what. I don't know how to get there or how to find it. I hate waiting, and I'm tired of waiting for something new to come along. I feel like this isn't the place for me, no one here understands me one bit, it's boring to see the same thing every day,and  its tiring to deal with the same faces everyday. I just want to get out of here and do something new, and feel alive; at least again. As much as I hate to admit it, I feel lonely here. Even with the people around, I feel like I'm alone by the end of the day. Nothing in my life brings excitement anymore, and everything feels dead to me. I don't know what it is, and I'm sick of searching for the answer. I just need to break through, and get out. I'm tired of this feeling, and I'm tired of not being able to live up to my full potential. I'm done lying to myself, this really isn't me. Forget the smiling, and pretending, that shit doesn't work for me anymore. I'm ready to let go of everything that keeps me from coming above, I'm just ready for that new chapter in my life. Question is: when am I really ready to let go?

It's not fake to wear make-up

Girls wear make-up to enhance their beauty, not because they want to cake their faces up so people could talk about them. Make-up makes a girl feel confident in her own skin, and some people just don't get that. Nowadays, it's hard to not wear make-up. Sometimes make-up makes a girl feel accepted because that's what society wants, and we make society that way. Nothing annoys me more than people who talk about how much make-up a girl wears, or how she should stop wearing make-up because it makes her fake. Honestly, it's okay to wear make-up, it doesn't hurt anybody. And for people who don't wear make-up and talk about the people who do, good for you. You should feel lucky that you're able to feel pretty without it, but cut the girls who wear make-up some slack. Same goes for the guys who claim they love girls who embrace their natural beauty, or they rather have a girl not wear make-up. Seriously, it's such bs. Guys like girls who look good, and if they don't look good, they're considered unimportant. And, that's why girls are so insecure about themselves. If people could just accept others for what they really are and what they look like, make-up wouldn't even matter.

I hate when boys

say they want and need a girl who does this and that and when they finally have her all they want to do is take her for granted and do her wrong. Guys really don't know what they have until it's gone and that's just sad.

If you don't take my advice the first time,

don't expect me to keep giving you the same advice twice. Not only is it annoying to be repetitive but I'm wasting my time trying to be there for you when whatever I say is completely irrelevant to you anyway.

Junior year is coming to an end!

It's 4th quarter already and I'm way too excited. I couldn't be any more pleased with the fact that I'm finally coming to the end of this school year. I can't wait to become a senior already, because I can almost feel everything being so close! But whatever, I'm just going to finish this school year strong and enjoy the rest of this school year as I count down the days 'til summer (: