I've been through hell and back for you. I tried in every way to make you happy, to be there for you, to give you my everything and beyond, and you know what I get? Nothing. I get nothing, I broke my own heart trying to fix this. To be honest I don't even know what this is. Me staying up writing you this, when all I truly want to do is sleep my problems away because it hurts staying up thinking on back how dumb I was believing every word you said, every promise you made. I was built just like you. I have a heart, I can feel, I obviously have emotions too. None of that matters though, you fell into the wrong hands of someone who doesn't care about your wants and needs like I did, or what mattered to you before. I mattered to you, I gave you everything, I did everything for you, but that don't count no more I guess. You didn't just left me wondering, and hurt, you left me cold, you left me for what didn't even matter to you at any point. I might be the one hurt now, but I'll get stronger and better than ever. I look back on everything, where I came from, and what got me here, and its been one hell of struggle to reach this point. There's a hole in my chest, like someone shot my heart right out, now it's hard to feel knowing I'm sitting here thinking to myself what in the world did I do to deserve this.
I might not know what is ahead of me, but I do know what I left behind. I'm moving on to something better because for once in my life I'm tired of putting you before me. I cared for you way too much that I forgot what it was like to be happy. I was too busy putting that smile on your face that mine started to fade away. You think it's easy, looking you dead in the eyes telling you enough is enough because I cant endure anymore pain? You must think it's just another joke, another unimportant fight that isn't worth fighting for. I guess you could say that. My feelings are nothing, it's just a big fat joke. Nothing more, nothing less. Why fight right? When we could just easily stay shut about it. If it's easier for you, it will be easier for me too.
Life and God has different plans for the two of us. I have so much to offer to the world and to one person, that I don't want to waste another second on someone who is too blind to see that he mattered to me so much that I didn't stop fighting for him when he made it so easy for me to just give up. I never stopped fighting, trying is all I ever did. I want to be okay again, I want to find myself again, I need to get back up again. When you decide to miss me eventually, I hope you think of all the times I stayed up all night writing you the sweetest messages a person has ever written, I hope you read all the love letters I hand written you, all the cards I never missed on your special day, I hope you think back on all the times I cried for you, all the times I stuck by you, all the times I held your hand through your bad days and one touch just changed everything. I hope you remember all the times I looked at you, and smiled and made you smile. I hope you look back on all that and realize what you had was real, what you had, others wanted.
I wish nothing but the best for you. I wish someone out there could replace me better than when I was there. I hope you find someone who will hold your hand through it all, and never let you go. I wish I could have held on longer but, we were walking on a tight rope, and I was bound to let you go. I just hope when you get better and open your eyes and look in the mirror and see past your mistakes, you'll look back on all your wrongs and make things right. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I couldn't keep the real you around. But, I'm glad you changed. Because I knew it was too good to be true. You were too good be true. You're a lot different now, everything about you that I once loved and admire has faded. Everything must come to an end right? I guess our end is here. I hope after you read this, know that I left my heart on this page, and I don't want it back.
